[someone] loving [someone] chart for w/m/nb identities!
I also made a version without repeating the labels, based on a version @jynto made before:
I am also working on a text-only version, however since it’s taking too long to make, I will put it on a separate post/reblog.
I’m going to copy/paste the how to use and the Q&A from the original version here:
How to use:
1) Think about what your gender entails. For example, nonbinary woman.
2)
Go to the line or one of the lines that specifies the gender you have.
For nonbinary woman, you can go to nonbinary > woman or to woman >
nonbinary. Both lines are the same.
3) Think about what your
gender-based attraction or what you want to reveal about it entails. For
example, nonbinary people and women.
4) Look for the column or
columns that specify that attraction. In this case, again, you’ll have
to look for either the nonbinary > woman column or the woman >
nonbinary column.
5) See where the line and column cross! In this example, it should be iridian (nblnb, nblw, wlnb and wlw).
Remember
you can use broader labels too! So if you are iridian, for instance,
you can also use sapphic, enbian, and so on, if you want.
But how can you be both nonbinary and a man/a woman/a man and a woman?
Some nonbinary people may consider themselves one or both binary genders besides being nonbinary because:
They have multiple genders (at the same time or not), and one or some of them are binary or binary-adjacent; (examples:
a person is trigender and their genders are man, woman and neutrois, or
a person is genderfluid and their gender changes between agender and
woman)
They have a single gender connected to one or both binary genders even if those genders aren’t binary; (examples:
a person has a single gender that is a mix of maverique and woman, or a
person is a proxvir, which means they have a gender similar to man but
different in some way)
They have a certain
connection to one or both binary genders because of presentation,
pronouns/titles, desired transition, or other characteristics. (examples:
a person is agender but doesn’t mind being treated as a man in general,
or a person is dulcigender but has a connection to being a woman for
desiring a physical transition similar to a trans woman)
But how can you be both a man and a woman without being nonbinary?
A
nonbinary person may consider themselves both a man and a woman and
prefer an identity that only talks about them being both a man and a
woman.
A person who is both a man and a woman may also not want to identify as nonbinary for any reason.
But all those labels are too complicated/hard to remember! Why not just use ____?
You
may not use them if you don’t want to, but there are obviously people
who want to use those more specific labels, or otherwise there wouldn’t be so much of
them.
* this version is “final” because all slots are taken. However, if there are changes I deem important enough, I may make other versions of this.
I love this! But carnelian is already the name of a gemstone – might I suggest changing it to “carnelinian,” just to avoid confusion? (I pronounce it like “carneLINian” but “carneLEENian” sounds ok too.)
I totally get it, I’ve run into trouble while trying to find content for this term.
I can’t seem to find the original coiner, though. The flag submission seems to be anonymous, and I didn’t find anything that points to the original post or something.
Does anyone here know the coiner? Do you think it may be a good idea to add this alternative version to posts about the identity, so the word is spread?
Sexual = desiring sexual interaction (sexual intercourse, sexually touching/groping, kissing, finding sexual pleasure)
Romantic = desiring romantic interaction (being physically close, affectionate speech, living together, making lifelong commitment decisions, romantic affection, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)
Alterous = desiring interaction that is neither 100% platonic or 100% romantic, but is rather somewhere in between (affectionate speech, physical affection, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)
QPlatonic = desiring interaction that is not 100% platonic, but is actually more, while not being 100% romantic either (kissing, cuddling, handholding, nonsexual touch, being physically close, affectionate speech, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others)
Platonic = desiring platonic interaction (nonsexual touch, doing things together exclusively, valuing the relationship more than others (possibly), friendship, making lifelong decisions together, relying on each other emotionally)
Aesthetic = experiencing aesthetic attraction (admiration, valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), adoration, interest in their persona, distant emotional reliance)
Wavership = experiencing attraction that can fluctuate between different types or different expressions (called fluidic)
Amical = experiencing platonic + siblinghood attraction (nonsexual touch, valuing the relationship more than others, friendship, doing things together exclusively, emotional reliance, possible physical affection, familial bonds)
Guardian/Protective = experiencing protective attraction (valuing the relationship more than others, doing things together exclusively, possible physical affection, emotional reliance, possible grooming and being physically close, feeling protective or guide-like emotions; may be platonic, romantic, a mix, or some other type) (also called tutelary or dominant)
Grace = experiencing protected/guarded attraction (valuing the relationship more than others, doing things together exclusively, possible physical affection, possible grooming and being physically close, emotional and mental dependence, ‘following behind’ or willing to release some independence, but not completely or by force; may be platonic, romantic, a mix, or some other type) (also called submissive and concomitant)
Emotional = experiencing attraction that fits multiple types at once, or has characteristics of multiple types of attraction while not strictly falling into any type. (this is sometimes called ‘doraric’ attraction)
Intellectual = experiencing mental attraction (valuing their opinions, fascination with their point of view or perception of reality, adoration of their field of intelligence (not how smart, but what they’re smart in), valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), interest in their persona, fascination and appreciation of their ‘mental map’ (how they see the world/how their mind ‘works’), desiring partnership or guide-like relationships, possibly other traits of attraction; may be mixed with another type of attraction but not always)
Spiritual = experiencing spiritual attraction (valuing their opinions, emotional and mental reliance, valuing their existence more than others (non-obsessively), desiring partnership or guide-like relationships, spiritual bonding, doing things together exclusively, friendship, possible familial bonds, possible physical affection, performing spiritual practices together, fascination, interest in their persona)
_________________________
Words for each attraction
(A word used by the person feeling the attraction would call their target of attraction they are NOT in a relationship with)
Sexual: smush, lust
Romantic: crush
Alterous: mesh, hush
Sensual: lush
QPlatonic: plush
Platonic: squish, squush, thete
Aesthetic: swish
Wavership: unknown, flush? waffle?
Amical: unknown, shush? thresh?
Guardianship: mush
Grace: gush, sush
Emotional: unknown, blush?
Intellectual: unknown, rush?
Spiritual: unknown, immesh? inmesh?
Mixture: slush, flish, immesh?
Unknown: unknown, thrush? (as in the bird) sesh? immesh?
_________________________
Titles
(what the individual experiencing the attraction calls those they’re in a relationship with)
Sexual: sex partner
Romantic: (date)friend, partner, significant other
Talic: A gender that is fierce but holds honors, aesthetically similar to an virtuous battle warrior with other worldly and deific energies. Based of the Aedra Talos from the Elder Scrolls Series.
UncommonGenders 