Yea, that’s fine for me to talk about. But I will give a really fair warning that this takes a dark turn that involves rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, religious abuse, alcohol, nazis, and heavy mentions of transphobia/transmisa, nbphobia/nbmisa, and homophobia/homomisa.

I will give a fair warning before the bad parts, but this is an early heads up since this will be super long.

But my whole realization I was queer began when I was in 5th grade way back in 2010. At the time, I was super into boys and girls. I also felt that my gender was super weird. I was born and only knew I was a girl, but I didn’t feel that deep down. But I had 0 idea of the lgbtq+ community until I was in 7th grade and I had a super huge liking to one of my friends. Besides being rejected, she also did tell me what a lesbian was. And so, at age 12, I was proud to be a lesbian. My best friend, who was a more devout Christian than I, was not. And despite my teachings of “love thy neighbor”, I was drugged down to the church, humiliated, and forced to repent and “go back” to being straight. But I really didn’t like this and a few months later in 8th grade, came out as bisexual when I realized I still liked boys.

Family issues popped up and I ended up moving to my dad’s house. Now, up until now, I had 0 fucking clue was transgender was. Until I went on omegle. And I met someone who was pansexual. My little 12 year old brain had 0 clue what that was. And after asking, I was told it meant anyone who was attracted to girls, boys, and trans people (this was the accepted definition at the time). So, I went to research what transgender is, stumbled across genderfluid, and it felt almost like a complete fit for me. Going into high school, I had high hopes of being able to be genderfluid and pansexual. But I never told many people exactly. I just explained my gender is ?? and let people do the math. Eventually, I chose the name Kyle and it stuck. With this, word got around my school that I was transgender. Which everyone but two people didnt mind. These two people were my at the time boyfriend and my nephew.

This is the part of the story where everything goes down hill. So if you’d like, please skip from the first line of ♡s, to the next.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

My boyfriend at the time was anything but happy with me. And he didn’t find out until our first real date where I got my hair cut short for the first time. I thought he gave 0 fucks, but found out he hated me for it when he dumped me in front of one of our classes the next day. But I couldn’t avoid him entirely because we both went to the same club at school. He also never stopped there. I found that out when he told me to follow him to gods know where behind the school to talk.

To make a horribly long story short, a knife was involved and I was raped. I had little idea what happened for the next few months as he sexually abused me, raped me, and molested me during after school hours. I just thought it was normal and didn’t know what to do. I later found out through someone else that he was doing it to try to prove to me I was cis and not trans. But this all came to a head when he molested me and threatened to involve his friends when I still tried to present masculine at a public competition for our club. And it was that moment when what he did to me, actually hit me. By the gods, I did feel horrible. I just ran off, when to a friend’s house, and drank and partied my mind away. No one knew until they found me crying about it to a family member. But, no one called police. We just drank and partied.

Two weeks later, I had enough and got the school involved. And they did a good job. Up until they found out I was trans. And for some reason, it stopped. At the time, my dad had gotten more involved and stood by my ex since he was an upstanding young man (which has always been his code for perfect blond hair, blue eyed, white german man because that’s what my ex was and my father is a lowkey nazi) and also mentioned to everyone I have schizophrenia. So case was closed and I ended up going into hiding for the rest of my freshman school year because they decided to do nothing with him. And for hiding, I just told people I was cisgender straight. But my friends knew I was genderfluid.

Up until now, I never mentioned how my nephew reacted. And to make that short, I was beaten really bad with a bat for a good while. But this was the less of it since he mostly verbally abused me and hated me for it.

I stayed like that for the rest of summer. But I drank and smoke a lot to cope with the feelings. I was more promiscuous and emotionally needy. And these feeling worsened for my sophomore year. Up until I said fuck it and spent weeks trying to kill myself. All up until I was admitted into a hospital to get help. Shit happened and I moved back to my mom and transfered schools to get back on my feet.

And at this time, I went back to being somewhat proud to be genderfluid and pansexual. I made new friends and shortly met the man who I would later be proud to call my boyfriend and (hopefully) husband.

Around my junior year, I made a full 180 on my political views and went full on to become a trump supporter, truscum, and heavily anti-mogai shortly after discovering the anti-kin community. And I was a really aggressive person and a huge asshole during this time. How did I do this, I have 0 idea. I chose to identify as a bisexual binary trans and eventually became more neutral on my political stance and shortly dropped my trump support and completely went off tumblr for a while.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I did come back, was still pretty neutral on some issues, but I began identifying as pansexual and bigender between demigirl and male. Around this time, I decided to delve into the mogai community for a positive reason, realized I heavily did connect with some terms like xenogender and neurogender, and realized more why I used to be anti mogai. Because I really didn’t understand what the hell any of this was. So, I set out on a project to try and understand, which helped me realize about my feeling and come to terms with my gender and eventually choosing to use ey/em pronouns. Later on, I decided I wanted to make a blog to help educate and to hopefully bring positivity and so started UncommonGenders, which was chosen for a lack of better names.

But my story doesn’t stop there as I tried to understand my gender more, going to pangender, panfluid, pangenderfaun, genderfaun, and now shifterfluid. My sexuality followed a similar pattern as I discovered I was aro-spec, going from pansexual, to sticking with aroflux/caedaroflux, demialterous/cassalterous, and my other identities to the point I just identify as abrosexual to avoid my own confusion. And to be fair, I am really happy with myself and where I am in my path.

But for those who are concerned or wondering:

• I personally don’t think mogai harms the community. All transphobes I knew had already hated me for it and when they discovered mogai, the attributed it more to the kin community AND used it more as a last ditch reason when someone else argued with them.
• My other thing is that when I used to be truscum, I felt very trapped in my identity and constantly was tearing at my self to continue to fit in.
• My current major boyfriend does know about this blog and my identity and while he really doesn’t understand and borderlines gatekeeping, he is beyond respectful and we’ve even discussed his identity.
• All people involved with my old high school and denying my abuse were taken care of properly.
• I did lose contact with my dad and nephew and working to cut them fully out of my life.
• None of my family ended up fully accepting me, but that’s okay.
• I didn’t mention my dysphoria much, but it has played a huge role in my journey since my dysphoria worsened with hiding and has gotten better since.
• I also had been identifying as polyamorous and in several group relationships when I was in my freshman year of high school.
• And when it comes down to people I’d love to thank for my journey would be my group of middle school friends who did accept me for who I am, my senior year math and creative writing teacher for accepting me and being some of my biggest allies (Mr H and Ms S, you both are the real mvps and know who you are), my current major boyfriend, my ex who decided to be nice and help me through it all, @transgalaxies helping me into the community, @fathermartinarchimbaud and @pastelmemer for being some of my good pals since coming to the commnity, Mod Cindy from @home-of-mogai-icons and Admin Quartz for being with me and helping me out, and to the other admins and mods for coming this far with me.
• And for the reccord, this WAS extremely painful to write and I probably did miss some details, but this is about as accurate as I will get it.
• -Admin Opal